This is a review of Vampirella Archives Volume One. Vampirella first appeared in her own magazine in September 1969, back when herds of comic magazines roamed the stands. Vampirella isn’t Barbarella’s long-lost sister, and she isn’t a real vampire. She’s a space alien who hails from the planet Drakulon, where blood is water. She comes to Earth on a rocket ship and finds employment as a horror hostess, a la the Crypt Keeper, telling lurid stories to twisted children.
How about a few examples? We meet Vampirella’s cousin, Evily, who in the course of doing evil throws a spell at a magic mirror, which reverses the spell and turns Evily good. Except she’s not really good, she’s just drawn that way. In the next issue Evily visits an enchanted tree, seeking – well, I’m not sure what she’s seeking – and then her body is turned to stone. At least I think that’s what happened. I’ve been reading comics for 48 years, and I’m not sure, so confusing me is quite the accomplishment right there.
How about the treasure seekers who try to steal Montezuma’s fabled treasure, guarded by the winged serpent Quetzalcoatl? The Big Q can possess anything with wings, so they shoot all the birds. And then it possesses a mosquito. At the end, we see the single survivor congratulating himself on escaping. Except he’s on an airplane, which has wings and transforms into Quetzalcoatl!
Then there’s the vampire who runs a movie studio and has his own version of the casting couch, which works until he meets a witch, who traps him inside a movie camera. Or maybe she transforms him into a movie camera? Or the caveman and cavewoman who flee an exploding volcano, overcome marauding dinosaurs, and meet their end when they mistake a dinosaur’s open mouth for a cave?
Sound dopey? Well, you’re right! These stories feature misspellings and muddled writing galore, but the best of them have an unpredictable energy. Unlike, say, Tales From the Crypt (which Vampirella is modeled on), the writers of Vampirella aren’t afraid to mix genres, with horror, science fiction, and fantasy. Vampirella’s origin story is science fiction, not horror.
A few words about the black-and-white art, which is the best part of this magazine. We have stories illustrated by artistic luminaries such as Neal Adams and Jose Gonzalez. Much of the art is cheesecake, sexy Venusians, barbarian queens, gill-women, vampires taking blood showers. In places, the illustrations remind me of Heavy Metal magazine. Recommended for fans of older horror comics and Tales from the Crypt anthology magazines.
Abandoned Places 